Courting vs. Dating

"Sugar Is Sweet But Not Like You…Raindrops Fall, Sunshine, Oh and When I Look Into Your Eyes."

Jill Scott, "So In Love"

I am sure he courted her and look at the rewards of diligence, persistence, and commitment. The look of love in his eyes and the way he holds her. Sign me up!!!

Yesterday, while visiting my grandmother, she asked my fourteen year old if she was courting yet.  My daughter had this strange look on her face, a look of puzzlement and bewilderment.  My cousin who is a year younger than I was there and we laughed at Mya's sheer innocence.   I told Mya that I could remember my grandmother asking me, at her age, if I was courting.  The memories of yesteryears touched my heart and my mind.  My days of my innocence and naiveté are so missed and I have a greater appreciation of them.

It's the smile that he puts on my face... Effortless

Later that day, a group of the sistah girls in my family went out to just be family and to enjoy each other's company.  While eating out, a discussion started about being courted vs. being dated.  This was the opportunity for me to explain to my fourteen year old the difference, to me, between being courted vs. dating.  

I took the time to look up the two words.  Courting is a transitive verb to try to win somebody's love (woo) or intransitive verb to spend time together in a romantic relationship as a prelude to getting married.  Dating, the activity of going out regularly with somebody as a social or romantic partner or the activities of going on dates.  My Queens, I don't know about you but my dating days are so in my twenties and over.  

Your body language, your body's fragrance, your intelligence are all very intriguing to him and captivates his world

There comes a time when you should recognize that even the smaller things in life have such a huge, colossal impact on your past, present, and future.  Case in point, the word dating, a six letter word that defines the intentions of a person and their intentions towards you.  Before I continue, let me interject and say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating but, that word but totally voids out the validity of my previous said comment.  Dating has it own unique fit into the daily ins and outs of a person's life.  Dating is totally acceptable for my eighteen year old that should be sampling and enjoying the finer things of life.  Dating is acceptable if you are at a place in your life where serious, noncommittal arrangements/relationships are not in your foreseeable future.  I just believe that when you reach a certain state of knowing and wanting completion in your life, relating to a soul mate, dating does not suffice in comparison to having a courtship.

At the age of 49 and divorced, I have a different perspective on where I am now compared to five years ago.  I've had the countless dates.  I even paid for a few of those dates, lol.  I have a mantra that states, "I have more years behind me than I do ahead of me" and I plan on living my life like it's "Golden, Golden"….Thank you Ms. Jill Scott.  Courting is a shelved and antiquated piece of our culture that was once an expression of integrity, commitment, and a promise of one's intention to honor, cherish and respect that person of interest.  More importantly, it was an intent, a resolve, and a sincere pledge of your time and attention to that one person, not a different woman, Monday through Sunday.  Yeah, yeah, I know variety is the spice of life, whatever.     

So there you have it, are you being courted or dated?  I can only speak for Tracey ReNissa but lavish me with your time and attention and you can win (woo) my heart and affection.  Take me back to the days of true chivalry and where the lines were drawn in the sand and the roles of men and women were clear, concise and perspicuous.  I want to be that one for him that makes time stop when I walk into the room and he is captivated by my presence, my spirit, my heart, my smile and everything about me.

Queens, you must prepare and ready yourself to be courted....Position yourself to be the beacon of his heart and be willing to handle it with care and love.

Peace and Blessings,


Comments

  1. Well Said! I agree in good manners, chivalry and good down to earth romance! There are some many sites out there advising guys that they don't need to 'woo' a lady, and that they should expect the woman to either pay for the dinner or go 'Dutch'…..personally, if a guy asks you out, then he should wine and dine you, treat you with respect and simply whisk you off your feet! Love good old fashioned romance!

  2. Can't agree with you more.

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