“We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own…” Ben Sweetland
Queens is it me or am I feeling the subtle, yet oh so overt, sting of age discrimination? I applaud and cheer the accomplishments of my younger Queens, today (20’s, 30’s and early 40’s). I believe that technology has given our younger Queens an advantage that has propelled them into a solar atmosphere that could not have been imagined or fathomed 10 or 20 years ago.
I went to see “Think Like a Man….Act Like a Woman” over the weekend and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I do believe that the crux and the message of Steve Harvey’s book could have been translated more poignantly with women of an older age or at least a blend of different ages.
Women in their late 40’s, 50’s and 60’s are blatantly dismissed, disregarded, disengaged and are a forgotten and invisible factor and commodity in this ever evolving culture that we live in. Our value has been overlooked and discounted as non-essential. We are a very visual society and sex appeal has been overrated, overplayed and overused. My sex appeal has not dried up and withered away nor has my need to be wanted and desired a thing of the past.
Some job opportunities are given to the younger Queens based on, to me, their age, looks and not necessarily their qualifications. Again, when competing with a younger counterpart factored with today’s technology, I believe, the advantage is definitely tilted to the younger Queens. I believe the treasures we possess are invaluable to our younger Queens, as well as, the world. To dismiss our presence is to deprive the world of essential nutrients needed to survive and to thrive vibrantly and brightly as a culture. The vivaciousness of a mature woman is priceless.
When a man reaches an age of maturity they are gifted with the title of Distinguished, an honorable title? When they are in May-December relationships they are cheered and patted on the back by society, praised for capturing a good-looking acquisition and is often observed as the “norm” for older men in mid-life crisis (that was a dagger being thrown, if you didn’t recognize it, lol). But when mature women are engaged in May-December relationships they are termed Cougars and society is eagerly awaiting and betting to see how long this will last. The term Cougar isn’t complimentary. When I think of a cougar, I imagine an animal that is on the prowl for weak, vulnerable prey. This term is not something that I would aspire to or desire to be called or labeled.
This is an opportunity for open dialogue. I cherish my relations with my younger Queens. This Water Cooler Conversation has little to do with Us vs. Them. It is more to the point of a forgotten, invisible treasure that is struggling to be seen, heard, valued and respected. This is more to the point of the difficulties that we face to transition into this new Generation X culture without loosing our identity, uniqueness and the grace of our new-found coming into ourselves. Thank you, T. Marie for penning and drilling into me the analogy of the eagle. I choose not to fit in, for I am an eagle, that relish and cherish in soaring high above the rest but when you clip my wings to box me in because you are unsure of my purpose, you lose the opportunity for me to show you just how high you can go and to show you the visuals from heights that you have never imagined or fathomed before. The beauty and magnificence of eagles is to see the effortlessness of their soar as they glide through the heavens and the majestic spread of their wings. I am a woman of age, grace, and dignity. I no longer need to roar to be heard, but I whisper to draw you into my temple of serenity, tranquility, beauty, and peace.
Peace and Blessings,